Well, I guess there always comes a point in your life when you make peace with the way things are. Although I suppose one doesn't have to. The other alternative is to just stay bitter and pissed off. I'm kinda tired of being bitter and pissed off. It's very draining.
I think I've made some progress since my last word vomit on this subject. I'm finally learning how to live with it rather than just fight it. Now don't get me wrong, I still have my days where I just wanta pout about it and have somebody feel sorry for me. But they are much further apart than they were even six months ago. At the end of the day, nobody really gives a shit. It's not their fault and I'm not being mean or lashing out. It's just human nature. We really care about people when they go through hard times and we see them struggle with health problems, money problems, and a whole host of other things life throws our way. But, you can't carry the "care about" very long. I can't. I can only assume the same of others. I hope this doesn't sound crass. I'm just trying to keep it real. With MS nobody even sees anything much different about you, so that makes it even harder to care. Out of sight out of mind. Which brings me to my "moving forward" of sorts. I've wasted too much time wanting people to understand me and coddle me. Time I could of spent on working this thing out. This MS thing. I do have to schedule rest, even when it's inconvenient and others don't understand. It's just a fact. I have to weigh my options, as far as how I will use my energy for the day. And weekends will depend on how much rest I got on my days off. I even plan for lighter weekends when I know Monday is going to be a killer. I'm finally making it a habit to just always stop before I make plans and weigh my actions against the amount of energy I'll have left, or if the pain I cause will be worth doing that thing I really want to do.
So that's it.. I'm making progress, and it's about freakin time!
