Discouraged.

I love my co-workers. They are my best friends. We know everything about each other. Maybe too much, but it works. It helped me keep from losing my mind over the last couple years with this body going out on me and having this damn disease. I realized today that they still don't get it. Can't blame them, I look fine. I try not to complain much but every day I'm there is a challenge. A challenge that I welcome and have chosen to do. I do not want to lose my job. Without it, I think I would just sit in my house, get fat, and become suicidal. : /  I've been off every Wed. for at least a year. It allows me to keep working. I work two days, crash and recover, and then work two more. I was more or less forced to work on my day off. Combination of idiot scheduler, and too many patients. Had a trip planned this weekend. Working four days in a row. Yeah, I'm not going anywhere. Last time I worked three I swore I would never do that to myself again. And here I am.  Pressured into ruining my weekend. Just another price I have to pay for trying to live like I'm fine. Oh well, there are other weekends. The only thing I'm discouraged about is that they don't get it and they won't ever. I guess they think I'm lazy and just don't want to work.. who knows. This too shall pass and I won't ever do this again. (which was what I said last time) LOL I deserve a weekend not feeling like crap. Or at least I think I do.