More me, less MonSter

It's quickly becoming evident that I can still have good days. As a matter of fact, I can have several good days. The trick is to not abuse my body through those good days. Excepting limitations is kind of like excepting a loss, divorce, death.. You don't want to, but you really have no other choice. If I can make my life better by controlling my thoughts, then that's what I want to do. That's what I HAVE to do! The cog fog is just embarrassing.  Well, that and potentially dangerous. Made my first med error the other day..  Not anything harmful. Gave the patient less drug than I should have and rectified it quickly. But only after somebody had to tell me what I did. That was a very sad moment for me. Just can't dwell on it. The shrink says, smile, relax, go slow. That's the way to keep my mind from escalating into a full-blown worthless state because I can't concentrate or stay on task. I can only do ONE thing at a time. Difficult if almost impossible for a nurse. Thank God I have co-workers that have my back.  Resting is not a luxury anymore. It's an absolute necessity. Just as necessary as taking my medicine. It feels like a waste of time. But I'm quickly learning it's one of the defenses I have in my arsenal of things to do or change in order to make my life, and the life of those around me, more normal. Of course it will  allow me to do more of what I want to do and less about what the MonSter wants.