The MonSter

I thought it might be therapeutic to blog about this stupid disease. Multiple Sclerosis sucks. That's about all you can say about it. The many ways it sucks are seemingly endless. Since April 2010 I've know about the beast. For some reason it helps me to personify the old hag. She interferes with every day of my life in one way or another. It's like a bad relative you can't get away from. Or an overbearing boss that looks over your shoulder every few minutes. Carrying a ball and chain around with you like Jacob Marley in the Christmas Carol. Don't ask me where that came from. : )  I just like word pictures.

  Today she is causing my whole body to ache. My guess is it's weather related. Oh, and throw in some burning of my inner thighs down to the sides of both knees. Ice seems to calm that down. There's something cathartic about putting your thoughts on paper. So, this blog will be painfully honest.  The persona about the beast is much different at work. Around my extended family it's yet another. My husband is another and My daughter is yet another. Coming in contact with the public calls for yet another way to handle it. I'm tired just thinking about it. My co-workers want me to shut up about it. LOL They've had to hear me bitch and complain for almost two years. Clearly, they need a break. So in large part I hide how I feel about it, what I think about it, how it's affecting me that day and of course I'm learning more and more to say "I'm doing fine" Helps me feel normal. My extended family I see little of. So I can pretend it's all good around them. My poor dear husband gets MOST of the truth. Some of my thoughts I try and keep to myself. My daughter doesn't need to know all about it. It will only make her feel sorry for me. And scare her. The public has no patience with anybody who's not normal. I get huffing and puffing when I'm slow. I get stares when on a rare scooter ride. My goal this year is to just not give a dang how it affects others. But rather, try and control how it affects me... And build on that. OK, enough rattling for one day..